Thursday, May 31, 2012

Top 5 Dad Blogs

Here is some of my favorite Dad blogs that I have found.  I believe that all of these men have some important lesson that all of Dads could take from them along with some laughter.  Keep it up men. 

A Family Runs Through It 

Cynical Dad

Dad Gone Mad

Frugal Dad 


There are many Dad blogs out there and I will continue to update my list.  If you know of some others that I  should follow please let me know.

Gun Safety in our Homes.

Is teaching our kids gun safety the answer?

To me, teaching gun safety is like teaching water safety, stranger safety, dating safety, playground safety, driving, etc. You cannot control every circumstance of your child's life, but you can help prepare them for those circumstances by deliberately teaching them safety rules and your standards of behavior. This is part of our job as parents. It isn't the school's job, and we can't expect teachers to teach our kids these things. God trusted us we these kids and it is our responsibility to teach them and the tools to protect them. 

These recent tragedies that have happen here in Washington State have been disturbing to the public.  The first reaction to the situations is to make more restrictions on guns and how they are obtained.  I think that only the responsible gun owners will oblige by them and will not reach those who truly need the help.  The instances of kids in grade schools getting shot or finding a gun in the glove-box are all due to ignorant people who are careless with their weapons.  The accidents are due to people being ignorant and those who go on a killing spree have been reaching out prior.  Our system does not need to be harder to obtain a gun but educating the public and officials to look for people that may be disturbed or reaching out.

I applaud the Seattle Police Department on how quickly they were able to reach the killing spree suspect yesterday.  With technology police officers were able to get the descriptions on their cellular devices.   This help locate the suspect but when doing so  he took his own life.  With technology I believe that these instances are resolved faster.  Now the solution is to stop these instances from happening.  I believe this is like I mentioned earlier by educating our young ones.  For the ones who are disturbed in almost every case they had a past record and were not treated to the full before being released back into the public.

Dad in Charge

Dads at Home

Historically, women have been the ones to stay home and raise children while fathers work. However, women’s increasing independence and power in the workforce means they’re now frequently out-earning their spouses. The Bureau of Labor Statistics found that in 2009 nearly 40% of working women earn more than their husbands. In trying economic times, it especially makes sense for women to keep their jobs once they have babies while Dads leave the workforce to stay home with the kids.

Reasons Dads Stay Home

Dads become stay-at-home-dads for more than one reason. Some dads just love spending time with their kids and want to become the primary care giver. Other dads stay home because their kids require special attention or have disabilities. Also, childcare costs are higher than ever. To save money and gain time with their little ones, many fathers decide childcare isn’t worth it and become stay-home-dads.  Sure, some dads face stereotypes from people who aren’t aware of how normal a dad staying at home really is. However, doing what’s best for their families trumps all for stay-at-home dads.

With the growth of telecommuting, many men are also able to work from home. In this regard, he is contributing financially to the family while also acting as the primary caregiver of the family's children. Differences in parent's schedules can also account for some of the stay-at-home dads. Sometimes the father works odd work shifts while the mother has a typical nine-to-five work schedule.

History of a stay at home Dad

In colonial American families, the family worked together as a unit and was self-sufficient.  Because of the Industrial Revolution, large-scale production replaced home manufacturing; this shift, coupled with then-prevailing norms governing sex or gender roles, dictated that the father become the breadwinner and the mother the caregiver. When affection-based marriages emerged in the 1830s, parents began devoting more attention to children and family relationships became more open. World War II found many women entering the workforce out of necessity; women reassured the caregiver position after the war, but, together with cultural shifts leading to the feminist movement and advances in birth control, their new-found sense of independence changed the traditional family structure. Some women opted to return to the care giver role. Others chose to pursue careers. When women chose to work outside of the home, alternative childcare became a necessity. If childcare options were too costly, unavailable, or undesirable, the stay-at-home dad became a viable option.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Dad’s way isn’t wrong

Woman believe that they are the better parent.  Is it because as a child they were playing with dolls dreaming of being a Mom while we were playing with trucks pretending to be construction workers.  Moms seem to be better planned on events then Dad’s giving them the perspective of being the superior parent.  The problem is that Dad’s way of unplanned events is just as important by giving kids other ways to tackling problems.  

My wife insist on dressing the kids before going in public otherwise they may not match and leave the home with messed up hair.  This is important in life to dress the part and be organized but most of the time life isn’t perfect and Dad’s imperfection gives children the ability to adapt to situation and handle problems.  Dads and Moms are like Yin and Yang they both need each other to create peace.  We are different creatures and can learn from each others strengths.
At the park you will see Dad’s sitting back on the bench watching their children while mothers are in and on the playground with their children.  Moms are showing that they are there to help while a father’s method is giving the child the ability to explore which helps develop their curiosity and independence.  Too much of anything is damaging and this goes for the same with parenting finding the happy medium is very hard when talking about your offspring.  Mothers are always going to be the child’s favorite when in need of comfort but when wanting to play Dad’s rule.  Men and women have been trying to understand each other for years while men think that women are overbearing.  Women think men are lazy and don’t care trusting too much in their little ones ability.  My son’s first day in kindergarten I was happy for him talking it up.  While my wife not only took the day off to walk him in but followed the bus to see him get off and make sure he didn’t need her.  I think it is sweet but at the same time kids need the space to grow.  I am constantly being reminded that they are more a part of her since she had to carry them.  I think that men just show their emotions different.
In the workplace men are more stable to raise their hand and ask for a raise then women would be.  I believe this goes back to how Dad’s play with their children.  At the park my daughter climbed up on some bars and hung upside down by her legs.  I stood there and watched and encouraged her for taking such a risk.  While I guarantee a mom would be there asking them to get down before they get hurt.  I guess as a Dad I believe that I could catch her before she fell or be there to patch her up.
Us men do not believe in multitasking and seem to focus on one task at a time.  It may be fixing a bicycle or watching a ball game while the wife she is surfing the net, replying to emails, making dinner, while watching one of her per-recorded shows.  This to me seems way more stressful and causes unwanted breakdowns or overloads that are not needed.  We men also believe in taking “me time” form the kids while moms have a harder time doing this always putting the time on the back burner which also can cause more stress.  The solution to this is delegating some of the family workloads to the spouse.  My wife doesn’t let me do laundry, grocery shopping or anything that she believes she can do better.  Trusting that Dads can do it just as good just different is hard to accept and is why men are better at delegating work.  

The last difference that I have noticed is how competition is handled.  Mom’s want all of their children to have a fair chance while dads strive for competition.  It would be nice if in life everything was fair but it isn’t.  I think that I learned this lesson as a little boy in sports knowing that not everyone is a winner.  This helps in keeping the drive in the work place not expecting to be recognized for my work or giving settle hints in the hopes for others to be mined readers but by asking and proving loudly why I should be promoted to a position.  If turned down not to take it personal since not every time you win.  This difference in method seems to work better in the work place and helps prepare oneself for the failures that due occur in life.  You should also be cautious about doing this too much son not to sound ungrateful of your position.

So you can see Dad’s way isn’t always wrong it is just different.  Dads are just as important in helping prepare a young one for life and good habits.  Mom’s way is usually the more ethical way along with being safer then Dad’s but we just know how to have fun while doing it.

Being a Dad doesn't mean you are giving up any Man Cards.

Making the decision

I grew up in a family where my father worked and my mother was a stay at home mom.  I did not think much of it sense all of the women in my family stayed at home.  My wife was the opposite and is what I believe is the next generation in our society.  This was not done overnight by any means but with a series of events that would affect all of us as women started to make their place in the work force.  My parents did not insist on me going to college since they didn’t.  I think that if they did it would be self-deprecated admitting that they did not achieve what others did.  I attempted to go but without support and being ignorant of programs I failed forcing myself to take up a career to survive. 

For years I brought in the income paying for bills which gave me the since of self-worth.  I felt that I was doing what all men were supposed to do.  My wife’s career started to take off competing with my salary and then soon passing me by.  At first it bothered me but soon found peace in asking why I would wish her not to succeed.  The economy prevented me to find continuous work giving my field as a project manager a roller coaster of a ride with abundant of people competing for what little jobs were available. 
As my family grew and my wife’s wages were more than mine we agreed that I should help with the kids.  I started off with one day a week picking them up from a day care at a certain time.  I received a lot of grief from co-workers like I was not a real man letting my wife tell me what to do.  I did not feel this way and wanted to be around my children.  As time went on the economy got worse and I was laid off.  When I picked up another job I was given grief about my schedule.  In fact I was pulled aside and told to make it in this profession I had to not have any restrictions on how long I could work.  My boss told me that I need to choose or should find work elsewhere.  The daycare expense was not making it easy or the hours that I had to abide by.  My jobs where soon taken from me and given to others who had more flexible hours.  Soon I was laid off again finding less chances of locating a position that could accommodate me as a working father.  In fact some asked me if I was a single father since I was willing to attend to my children when they were sick.  It seems that women even though they complain about it are given a free pass that make it easier to be a parent.

I decided to take advantage of my unemployment and advance my career by going back to college.  This experience as a stay at home dad has changed my life.  I do not feel any less of a man but more in touch with life itself.  I have women when grocery shopping who comes up to me and say how cute it is that my kids are hanging out with their father.  Some ask if it is my day off.  I just smile and let them believe what they want.  Sometimes it is hard to be the man of the house when having to budget with my wife’s income instead of mine.  I do believe I will go back to work but this time educated in an office situation with regulated hours and hopefully about the same time my kids start to become more independent.  My biggest fear is how my resume will look taking time off and starting a new career.

I believe that in the construction industries most men are single, have baby’s mommas or stay at home trophy wives.  I on the other hand have a wife who is equal to me and believe that together we can make a bigger impact on how we live now and in the future.  For those dads who are in the same boat my biggest advice is to stay strong.  It takes more of a man to accept change and pick your battles to fight.  Those who criticized me in the past are jealous and miserable stressing about what to do next with the economy in the dumps.  I believe that my children and my financial future are more secure by being a father who contributes not only by income but time spent.  Our children need a father figure who not only is strong and direct but one who cares.  I don’t believe that I gave up any man cards or rights in doing this but have become a stronger man who knows what to look for in life.