Saturday, June 23, 2012

BBQ Etiquette

My wife shared this with me.  It is interesting how sometimes we interpret things.

A quick reminder of the BBQ Rules:

We are entering the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - drink in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another drink while he flips the meat.

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauce and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her 'night off,' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Is is it a Vampire or a Werewolf Baby?

Baby Names

Before my kids were born my wife and I thought long and hard on what to name them.  Our list of baby names consisted of family names.  We decided that they not only had to be strong but a name that would be remunerable and professional.  After choosing a name we would check to make sure that it wasn't on the top ten so he would be unique.  I remember going to school and when the teacher would call out Mike, Jason, Christy, or Heather she had to include there last name due to the chances of more than one kid would respond.  Everyone wants to be different.  My mother name is half George and Emily combined together Jeorily spelled with a J.  My mother hated having to correct every one she met or having several nicknames but this did not stop her from naming her daughter Jenily.  Which is half of Jennifer and Emily?

People are all trying to name their kids from something they know but not realizing how it may affect them.  According to the U.S. Social Security Administration the top baby names from 2009-2011 have been names from Movies.   In 2009 the most popular baby name for girls is Isabella and the most popular boy name is Jacob.  Sound familiar?



Top 10 Baby Names for 2011

RankMale nameFemale name
1JacobSophia
2MasonIsabella
3WilliamEmma
4JaydenOlivia
5NoahAva
6MichaelEmily
7EthanAbigail
8AlexanderMadison
9AidenMia
10DanielChloe

That’s right Vampires and Werewolf’s were the top names for 3 years from the movie Twilight.  It seems that team Edward didn't make the top ten for boy names.
This crave for naming children after movies and celebrities has gone on for years.  Now with the new movie Hunger Games are we going to see names like:



Hunger Games

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Treasure Hunting with the Family (Geocaching)

Ahoy, Me Hearties!

Over the weekend we decided as a family to explore Geocaching.  It is a treasure hunt using GPS on your phone.  At first I was skeptical but after seeing a video and finding the first treasure the game was on.  We decided after stopping at a coffee shop on Sunday that we would see what was near and give it a chance.  It was a little frustrated when the gps kept on giving out and learning how to read a map on a tiny phone.  It would of been awesome if the iPad had gps but unfortunately that wasn't the case.  We were able to get clues left by others and a size of capsule that we were looking for.  after some searching in a parking lot we found it in a hole in a concrete post.  This gave the family hope and excitement on how it all works.  My wife thought it was a lot like survivor on how they hide immunity idols.  I guess that some of the other hunts give you clues to other treasures getting harder as they go.  It was a little difficult for the kids to follow being so young, but I think they just enjoyed the outdoors and how the adults were getting a kick out of it.  The log books in the capsules that we found were almost full of recent visits.  This proved that it is a success amongst family and pretty cheep.  The only expense to get started was a app that was 10 dollars and a cell phone with gps. 
The website that can explain more is http://www.geocaching.com

When looking at the website it looks like you can do Geochaching any where in the world.  I think that we may try this out when camping or on our vacation this year to Hawaii.  For those who want to experience the whole pirate treasure hunting you must first learn how to talk like a pirate.  Here is a website that will help you learn the lingo. http://www.piratetreasurenow.com/pirate-phrases.htm 
 Have fun and enjoy the booty. 

Monday, June 4, 2012

Fathers Day

What is the best father's day gift?  

This is a question I asked myself all my childhood when think what to get my father.  Now being a father I think some of the best gifts that I received was the thought.  My favorite was breakfast in bed and being able to just be lazy for one day with the kids. 
    Awesome cupcake
          
  • Make his job easier —Anyone with kids knows parenting is a full-time job too. Help him out with chores, cooking or yard work to give him some extra free time with the kids the following days. 
  • Give him some Dad time — Give him a gift certificate for something he loves doing with just you or his friends. Does he like golf, movies or going out to eat? Hire a sitter and have a night or afternoon of relaxation!
  • Family Picnic — For a day he really remembers, organize a perfect family picnic with all his favorite foods. Head to a forest preserve or a park with benches for some time in nature with your family. Bring baseballs, frisbees or bikes to use after the kids eat.
  • Make him a desert-Find creative ways to make his favorite cup cakes, ice cream or just chocolate to make him feel special.

History of Fathers Day. 

There are a range of events, which may have inspired the idea of Father's Day. One of these was the start of the Mother's Day tradition in the first decade of the 20th century. Another was a memorial service held in 1908 for a large group of men, many of them fathers, who were killed in a mining accident in Monongah, West Virginia in December 1907.

A woman called Sonora Smart Dodd was an influential figure in the establishment of Father's Day. Her father raised six children by himself after the death of their mother. This was uncommon at that time, as many widowers placed their children in the care of others or quickly married again.

Sonora was inspired by the work of Anna Jarvis, who had pushed for Mother's Day celebrations. Sonora felt that her father deserved recognition for what he had done. The first time Father's Day was held in June was in 1910. Father's Day was officially recognized as a holiday in 1972 by President Nixon.

However it came about I am just glad that us men have a day to hang out with the family.

When is Fathers Day?

Father's Day is generally celebrated on the third Sunday in June; including US, UK, Canada, Chile, France, Japan and India. We then see the nations of Uruguay and Dominican Republic celebrating Father's Day in July, with Brazil, Samoa and Taiwan in the month of August. Australia, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea and Fiji honoring Dad's on the first Sunday in September each year with Latvia and Nepal following later in the month. October is the month for Dad's to celebrate in Luxembourg and Estonia, Finland, Iceland, Norway and Sweden honoring him on the second Sunday in November. Thailand and Bulgaria celebrate this traditional day in December.


Sunday, June 3, 2012

How to maintain a Man Cards or obied by the Mens Room rules

Urban Dictionary describes the Man card as a requirements to be accepted as a respectable member of the male community. Can and should be revoked by other respectable males for doing non-respectable-male things.  I think that us men need to start holding other fathers up to a higher standard maybe it should be a Father Card or a different type of Man Card.  Some sites have been created helping men recognizing men and others who should be revoked basically calling them out.

One of these sites is:

  This site has forms to fill out for those men not holding up the standards or being caught doing the men gender wrong.  It is quite interesting to browse the sight and even fill out an application to receive your own man card.

Miller light has played to a Men's audience by calling out the use of man cards.  I think this is great making men become aware in  a joking matter to try to hold up to a better standard.  Sometimes it takes jokes to help curve the over all stereo type of men. 


99.9 KISW The Rock here in Seattle have also seen that men are a great market to look at by creating a whole radio station after men.  One of the afternoon shows that all genders tend to turn to in the after noon is the Mens Room who not only have a great show but now a line of beer.  There Mens Room rules are very similar to the Man Card rules in how a man should act.  I enjoy hearing them interact with each other as they deal with being parents are marriage life as a man.  It helps fill in the gap of a social group when at home with little ones.  Being a man doesn't mean you can't be passionate but how you handle and express yourself.  If interested in a list click on their sites and see the full list that will give you some laughs and incite on how we should act. 

Seattle
Stay-At-Home Dads

Is another place for men who are at home at want to socialize with those that may be in the same boat.  Unfortunately this club is too far for me and wish that there was one for cities not as big.  In time I believe that these sites will start to pop up as us men start to become more apart of our children's life.

http://deadbeatdad.us/

Is a great site calling us men out who try not to stand up for there responsibilities.  I think that this site has a lot of great information for those who are thinking of skipping out and those who are disturbed of others who do.  It has information on laws and ways for men to pay.

All of these examples is proving to the world that we are not like women and when men are stay at home Dad's we may raise kids different.  It may not be wrong but just a different view.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Did Ken loose his Man Card to Barbie?


Making it worth the Hassle for Dads.

Stay-at-home dads now have Web sites, support groups and an annual convention.  They are showing up in "Mommy and Me" classes and PTA meetings.  Many men restrooms now have diaper-changing tables, and companies’ market souped-up strollers with brand names such as "the Bob." 

During the day sometimes I click on the television other than cartoons to just relax.  It is extremely hard as a dad to find shows that are for us.  The networks fill their day time spots with soap operas and  talk shows that are full of women topics.  It seems that lifetime television spreads from there network to all networks giving us Dads a run for our money to find a man show.  Our only saving grace is on demand television.  For now my honey list have filled the gap along with school work that seems to be never ending.

I recently read a blog of men tell stories of being excluded from mothers' groups and hearing of police questioning fathers seen hanging around the playground. Some have found close friends among stay-at-home mothers, while others say they don't feel comfortable with such socialization or fear their wives would disapprove.  The key is to just roll with the punches because it only get easier. 

The other day my son and daughter were playing house.  I was surprised to hear my son say “you go to work and make the money and I will stay home and clean house.”  My daughter grabbed her Barbie and placed it in her toy car making a car noise waving goodbye.  He then grabbed the fake vacuum and Ken to clean the Barbie house.  I thought to myself is that how my kids portray us?  This would never have happened when I was a little kid.  These moments make all of the difference when thinking if I am impacting my children.  My wife loves how attached they have become calling her dad on accident.  I was the bad guy and feared since I did all of the punishment but now when my daughter falls she prefers me.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Dad Taking on the Kitchen



Are we better Cooks?

Dads are starting to take over the kitchen.  Blogs such as Cooking for Dads by Rob Barrett have given hopes for those who are starting to find their talents in the kitchen.  There are several recipes out there for fathers who just want to experiment.  It is a great opportunity to teach your children a talent that will help them survive and save money. 

 Kids Cooking with Dad

In addition to being fun, your kitchen is also one of the most valuable places for kids to learn in your house from the moment your baby can sit up. Colors shapes and numbers are all there waiting to challenge your child each step of the way. Babies will pass up their fancy toys every time for a chance to match up pots and lids or stack plastic containers. Toddlers love to "sort" silverware and fold napkins into triangles. Next time you need 60 marshmallows for Rice Krispie treats, have your preschooler count out 6 groups of 10 marshmallows each and teach fractions with sticks of butter.

Older Kids helping Dad

Older kids will learn basics of science when they knead dough and stir sauces. And there is the all important lesson that cooking is accomplished with all the senses. As dinner is brewing, talk about the smells, sounds, textures and appearance of the food being transformed. Your children will then taste with a new appreciation, especially if they've had a hand in making dinner.

Warning Men Cooking!

I believe that not all of the time things work out in the kitchen for us men.  We seem to make a mess due to our lack of multitasking. I believe that in the kitchen we are willing to take more risk.  This is why some of the top chefs are men.  My father-in-law is always trying to add something to his meals that he cooks.  Over the years he has mastered several meals with his own recipes not Betty Crocker’s.  This is just some of the benefits of having us men in the kitchen. 

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Top 5 Dad Blogs


Here is some of my favorite Dad blogs that I have found.  I believe that all of these men have some important lesson that all of Dads could take from them along with some laughter.  Keep it up men. 

A Family Runs Through It 

Cynical Dad

Dad Gone Mad

Frugal Dad 

GeekDad

There are many Dad blogs out there and I will continue to update my list.  If you know of some others that I  should follow please let me know.

Gun Safety in our Homes.

Is teaching our kids gun safety the answer?

To me, teaching gun safety is like teaching water safety, stranger safety, dating safety, playground safety, driving, etc. You cannot control every circumstance of your child's life, but you can help prepare them for those circumstances by deliberately teaching them safety rules and your standards of behavior. This is part of our job as parents. It isn't the school's job, and we can't expect teachers to teach our kids these things. God trusted us we these kids and it is our responsibility to teach them and the tools to protect them. 

These recent tragedies that have happen here in Washington State have been disturbing to the public.  The first reaction to the situations is to make more restrictions on guns and how they are obtained.  I think that only the responsible gun owners will oblige by them and will not reach those who truly need the help.  The instances of kids in grade schools getting shot or finding a gun in the glove-box are all due to ignorant people who are careless with their weapons.  The accidents are due to people being ignorant and those who go on a killing spree have been reaching out prior.  Our system does not need to be harder to obtain a gun but educating the public and officials to look for people that may be disturbed or reaching out.

I applaud the Seattle Police Department on how quickly they were able to reach the killing spree suspect yesterday.  With technology police officers were able to get the descriptions on their cellular devices.   This help locate the suspect but when doing so  he took his own life.  With technology I believe that these instances are resolved faster.  Now the solution is to stop these instances from happening.  I believe this is like I mentioned earlier by educating our young ones.  For the ones who are disturbed in almost every case they had a past record and were not treated to the full before being released back into the public.


Dad in Charge

Dads at Home

Historically, women have been the ones to stay home and raise children while fathers work. However, women’s increasing independence and power in the workforce means they’re now frequently out-earning their spouses. The Bureau of Labor Statistics found that in 2009 nearly 40% of working women earn more than their husbands. In trying economic times, it especially makes sense for women to keep their jobs once they have babies while Dads leave the workforce to stay home with the kids.

Reasons Dads Stay Home

Dads become stay-at-home-dads for more than one reason. Some dads just love spending time with their kids and want to become the primary care giver. Other dads stay home because their kids require special attention or have disabilities. Also, childcare costs are higher than ever. To save money and gain time with their little ones, many fathers decide childcare isn’t worth it and become stay-home-dads.  Sure, some dads face stereotypes from people who aren’t aware of how normal a dad staying at home really is. However, doing what’s best for their families trumps all for stay-at-home dads.

With the growth of telecommuting, many men are also able to work from home. In this regard, he is contributing financially to the family while also acting as the primary caregiver of the family's children. Differences in parent's schedules can also account for some of the stay-at-home dads. Sometimes the father works odd work shifts while the mother has a typical nine-to-five work schedule.

History of a stay at home Dad

In colonial American families, the family worked together as a unit and was self-sufficient.  Because of the Industrial Revolution, large-scale production replaced home manufacturing; this shift, coupled with then-prevailing norms governing sex or gender roles, dictated that the father become the breadwinner and the mother the caregiver. When affection-based marriages emerged in the 1830s, parents began devoting more attention to children and family relationships became more open. World War II found many women entering the workforce out of necessity; women reassured the caregiver position after the war, but, together with cultural shifts leading to the feminist movement and advances in birth control, their new-found sense of independence changed the traditional family structure. Some women opted to return to the care giver role. Others chose to pursue careers. When women chose to work outside of the home, alternative childcare became a necessity. If childcare options were too costly, unavailable, or undesirable, the stay-at-home dad became a viable option.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Dad’s way isn’t wrong

Woman believe that they are the better parent.  Is it because as a child they were playing with dolls dreaming of being a Mom while we were playing with trucks pretending to be construction workers.  Moms seem to be better planned on events then Dad’s giving them the perspective of being the superior parent.  The problem is that Dad’s way of unplanned events is just as important by giving kids other ways to tackling problems.  

My wife insist on dressing the kids before going in public otherwise they may not match and leave the home with messed up hair.  This is important in life to dress the part and be organized but most of the time life isn’t perfect and Dad’s imperfection gives children the ability to adapt to situation and handle problems.  Dads and Moms are like Yin and Yang they both need each other to create peace.  We are different creatures and can learn from each others strengths.
 
At the park you will see Dad’s sitting back on the bench watching their children while mothers are in and on the playground with their children.  Moms are showing that they are there to help while a father’s method is giving the child the ability to explore which helps develop their curiosity and independence.  Too much of anything is damaging and this goes for the same with parenting finding the happy medium is very hard when talking about your offspring.  Mothers are always going to be the child’s favorite when in need of comfort but when wanting to play Dad’s rule.  Men and women have been trying to understand each other for years while men think that women are overbearing.  Women think men are lazy and don’t care trusting too much in their little ones ability.  My son’s first day in kindergarten I was happy for him talking it up.  While my wife not only took the day off to walk him in but followed the bus to see him get off and make sure he didn’t need her.  I think it is sweet but at the same time kids need the space to grow.  I am constantly being reminded that they are more a part of her since she had to carry them.  I think that men just show their emotions different.
 
In the workplace men are more stable to raise their hand and ask for a raise then women would be.  I believe this goes back to how Dad’s play with their children.  At the park my daughter climbed up on some bars and hung upside down by her legs.  I stood there and watched and encouraged her for taking such a risk.  While I guarantee a mom would be there asking them to get down before they get hurt.  I guess as a Dad I believe that I could catch her before she fell or be there to patch her up.
 
Us men do not believe in multitasking and seem to focus on one task at a time.  It may be fixing a bicycle or watching a ball game while the wife she is surfing the net, replying to emails, making dinner, while watching one of her per-recorded shows.  This to me seems way more stressful and causes unwanted breakdowns or overloads that are not needed.  We men also believe in taking “me time” form the kids while moms have a harder time doing this always putting the time on the back burner which also can cause more stress.  The solution to this is delegating some of the family workloads to the spouse.  My wife doesn’t let me do laundry, grocery shopping or anything that she believes she can do better.  Trusting that Dads can do it just as good just different is hard to accept and is why men are better at delegating work.  

The last difference that I have noticed is how competition is handled.  Mom’s want all of their children to have a fair chance while dads strive for competition.  It would be nice if in life everything was fair but it isn’t.  I think that I learned this lesson as a little boy in sports knowing that not everyone is a winner.  This helps in keeping the drive in the work place not expecting to be recognized for my work or giving settle hints in the hopes for others to be mined readers but by asking and proving loudly why I should be promoted to a position.  If turned down not to take it personal since not every time you win.  This difference in method seems to work better in the work place and helps prepare oneself for the failures that due occur in life.  You should also be cautious about doing this too much son not to sound ungrateful of your position.

So you can see Dad’s way isn’t always wrong it is just different.  Dads are just as important in helping prepare a young one for life and good habits.  Mom’s way is usually the more ethical way along with being safer then Dad’s but we just know how to have fun while doing it.

Being a Dad doesn't mean you are giving up any Man Cards.

Making the decision

I grew up in a family where my father worked and my mother was a stay at home mom.  I did not think much of it sense all of the women in my family stayed at home.  My wife was the opposite and is what I believe is the next generation in our society.  This was not done overnight by any means but with a series of events that would affect all of us as women started to make their place in the work force.  My parents did not insist on me going to college since they didn’t.  I think that if they did it would be self-deprecated admitting that they did not achieve what others did.  I attempted to go but without support and being ignorant of programs I failed forcing myself to take up a career to survive. 

For years I brought in the income paying for bills which gave me the since of self-worth.  I felt that I was doing what all men were supposed to do.  My wife’s career started to take off competing with my salary and then soon passing me by.  At first it bothered me but soon found peace in asking why I would wish her not to succeed.  The economy prevented me to find continuous work giving my field as a project manager a roller coaster of a ride with abundant of people competing for what little jobs were available. 
 
As my family grew and my wife’s wages were more than mine we agreed that I should help with the kids.  I started off with one day a week picking them up from a day care at a certain time.  I received a lot of grief from co-workers like I was not a real man letting my wife tell me what to do.  I did not feel this way and wanted to be around my children.  As time went on the economy got worse and I was laid off.  When I picked up another job I was given grief about my schedule.  In fact I was pulled aside and told to make it in this profession I had to not have any restrictions on how long I could work.  My boss told me that I need to choose or should find work elsewhere.  The daycare expense was not making it easy or the hours that I had to abide by.  My jobs where soon taken from me and given to others who had more flexible hours.  Soon I was laid off again finding less chances of locating a position that could accommodate me as a working father.  In fact some asked me if I was a single father since I was willing to attend to my children when they were sick.  It seems that women even though they complain about it are given a free pass that make it easier to be a parent.

I decided to take advantage of my unemployment and advance my career by going back to college.  This experience as a stay at home dad has changed my life.  I do not feel any less of a man but more in touch with life itself.  I have women when grocery shopping who comes up to me and say how cute it is that my kids are hanging out with their father.  Some ask if it is my day off.  I just smile and let them believe what they want.  Sometimes it is hard to be the man of the house when having to budget with my wife’s income instead of mine.  I do believe I will go back to work but this time educated in an office situation with regulated hours and hopefully about the same time my kids start to become more independent.  My biggest fear is how my resume will look taking time off and starting a new career.

I believe that in the construction industries most men are single, have baby’s mommas or stay at home trophy wives.  I on the other hand have a wife who is equal to me and believe that together we can make a bigger impact on how we live now and in the future.  For those dads who are in the same boat my biggest advice is to stay strong.  It takes more of a man to accept change and pick your battles to fight.  Those who criticized me in the past are jealous and miserable stressing about what to do next with the economy in the dumps.  I believe that my children and my financial future are more secure by being a father who contributes not only by income but time spent.  Our children need a father figure who not only is strong and direct but one who cares.  I don’t believe that I gave up any man cards or rights in doing this but have become a stronger man who knows what to look for in life.